Climbing Dictionary

A few non-climbers have, bravely or foolishly, attempted to read my climbing posts and soon asked me, “Is there a secret decoder ring somewhere?” Well, it may not look as cool as the one in the Ovaltine jar, but the folks at RockClimbing.com have put together a pretty good glossary of climbing terms. If it still doesn’t make sense, make some noise! Post a comment! The comments seem to be a more peaceful place lately, though I can’t quite place why…

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11 thoughts on “Climbing Dictionary

  1. but those sons of bitchiz don’t comment! i have never seen their comments! COMMENT NOW!!

    ovaltine… whatever. that stuff is yukko. a “belay” is one a person lays their partner down and sticks his… well, you cna just go to the rockclimbing.com site.

    “crack climbing” is when you smoke crack then climb.
    a “crimper” is something that squeezes your hair when you climb, like a bush or rock or something.
    “bouldering” is when you are really being brave, i “bould”.

  2. “placing pro” is when you get so good at the place you climb, you are considered a pro.

    a “nut” is something men have, usually 2.

    a “cam” is a car part that has proven quite useful for protecting climgs.

    when you “protect” a climb, you have shut it down to climbing all together, ala Diane Feinsteing and Barbara Boxer.

    a “dyno” is an EXPLOSIVE move, like dynomite.

  3. And a “chickenhead” is someone who throws challenges and insults at strangers (and his friends’ mothers), so long as he can do it anonymously and without divulging his own mother’s phone number.

  4. A few non-climbers have, bravely or foolishly , attempted to read my climbing posts…

    IT’S YOU!! YOU are the “insulter”. my mother read this and did NOT like her attempts at reading your posts as “foolish”.
    you alwayz gotta insult someone.. someone you don’t even know.
    her number is 867.5309.

  5. oh my.. i was googling and noticed this at the bottom of their homepage:
    ©2003 Google – Searching 3,307,998,701 web pages

    3 billion pages. if you took .. hang on, let me calculate this…
    if you took that many sheets of paper and stacked them flat, it’d be
    ~287.15 miles thick.. that’s a hell of ream.

  6. Complicated, I’m sure, by the fact that more and more web pages are generated dynamically. There many many possible “pages” on this site, for instance, most of which have never been viewed. I wonder how Google chooses which ones to index?

  7. ok.
    i understand what you are saying.

    of course it’s nice imagine that there are 3+ billion ‘typical’ and viewable pages on the Internet.

    ALL HEIL THE INTERNET! BASTION OF TRUTH AND ENLIGHTENMENT! SOOOOON, YOU WILL BE PAYING FOR IT CUZ THE GAH DAMN TAX AND SPEND DEMOCRATS WANT TO TAX THE INTERNET ‘CUZ THEY’RE LOSING “BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN REVENUE”…

    i love that “losing” part. i mean, it’s just another fleecing. they are NOT “losing” anything. they just aren’t “getting” it.

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