The Amtrak Concession Guy


On the train to Sante Fe to visit Ann I sit for several hours listening to the concession guy (CG), a large bald black guy, talking to people.

Guy A: You sleep last night?
Guy B: Not a wink.
CG: Some guy was walkin’ around butt naked up there last night.
Guy B: No shit.
CG: It ain’t right.
Guy C: He was a tall, slim guy. Said he was Ko-rean.
Guy A: Bare-ass naked?
Guy C: I’ll tell you one thing, he wadn’t no Ko-rean.

Lady slowly counts out change.
CG: First thing in the morning, line behind you, and you got to pull out the small change?
Lady continues counting.
CG: Pennies now? You gonna hit me with pennies? Why you got to do me like that?
Lady: I thought you could use the change.
CG: Everything here is quarters and dollars, dollars and quarters. Pennies is uncalled for.
Lady: What is your tuna sandwich like?
CG: I’ll show you. (Puts on a Miles Davis CD and waits for the lady’s change).

Old timer in an engineer’s cap hears Miles Davis, spills out some names of other jazz artists.
CG pours coffee for Old Timer.
Old Timer: Thank You.
CG: The pleasure’s aaaallll mine. A lady came down here the other day and said, “Are all by your lonesome down here?” I said, “No, no. I’m just down here chillin’ with Miles, I ain’t by myself.


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