Dylan remarked this morning that he was experiencing a yo-yo of emotions. Elated and exited to have the trip almost over thus subsiding the agony. Hopeless and despondent about the prospect of leaving this life for “civilization.” I had a dream last night. It took place in my childhood home in Laramie Wyoming. Something, some sort of oppressive force was coming down on me. Frantically, I ran all over the house grabbing my gear and packing it in my pack. Kicking myself the whole time, “You should always keep a pack packed. You should always be ready to go.” Dylan came in the back door smiling with his pack on. Close behind I saw a 50’s era beat cop approaching the front door. Anyone that went to the front door of that house was generally unwelcome. Including, on at least one occasion, the police. Giggling, I maneuvered around so I could fit myself with pack head first out the window into a shrub. The bulk and weight of the pack was very real and ever present. Reaching back up, I grabbed Dyl’s pack and pulled him through. We lit out down the alley, still giggling. At the end was the ditch containing Spring Creek which we could inconspicuously follow north east then east to the base of the Laramie Range at the edge of town. The mountains unmistakably meant safety. I think it may be hard to return to life inside the walls. The border, now three and a half miles further, is pulling us strongly toward it. Interestingly, the last time I felt anxiety about coming change was back when the days were quickly sliding by to April 16th. That was three months ago today. Yesterday Dylan looked back south to the horizon and quiveringly commented, “We have done an amazing thing.” We turned away from each other and silence took us. It was too powerful.
It will be strange as well to part with this man next to me. I have watched him change drastically as he has me. A large part of who we each are now goes hand in hand with the other. Sometimes we singsong conversations in a ridiculous Rogers and Hammerstein style. Sometimes I narrate third person in my best action hero adventure narrator voice and Dyl adds sound effects. Soon we wont talk, communicate, or even see each other. This part of my life is ending.